i am researching cutting and self-mutilation because i have a close family member who is doing this--she burned her arm last week and it's bad.
i was wondering--i found an article on the internet that talks about support for the person and how some people get relief by using other methods like icing the skin with ice cubs or flicking themselves with rubber bands.. this person is in therapy and in the care of a psyciatrist too but i just wondered how common this is.
her diagnosis isn't even for sure--could be adhd or depression.. any comments on experience with this would be helpful.
Self-harm is far, far, more common than most people realise. It affects people from all walks of life, in varied circumstances, etc.
A lot of people can't cope with other people's distress or illness. If they ask the question 'How are you?' they only want to hear 'Fine, thanks'.
The 'Fine, thanks' response is a standard response for those who really mean 'I'm desperate, please help me'. One day, I hope, we'll all get better at recognising and responding to cries for help.
while talking to my teacher today we talked about excommunication.
i told her i thought it was mean to not talk to those members which have been excommunicated.
she told me; however, that those who leave the church should be punished.
Dear Elizabeth
I am not, and never have been, a JW. I have no personal grudge against them, or flag to wave on their behalf (wrong illustration, perhaps, but I hope you know what I mean). From what I have found out about them, I believe JWs to be a very controlling cult which has caused a great deal of harm and damage to very many people over many years.
I am not a bible student, a theologian, or whatever, and most JWs (or people of other religions/denominations/cults/sects/whatever) could outquote me easily. But I was a police officer for 30 years (mostly as a detective, and rising to senior rank), and I DO know how to investigate. (I also, sadly, know quite a bit about abuse in all its forms from a professional point of view). I have brought those investigative experiences and skills to bear on JWs, firstly out of general interest in comparing religions and latterly out of concern for some people who I care for. What I have found has concerned me greatly, and what I have read of people's experiences with JWs has made me deeply saddened and angry.
I regret now that I didn't go to a few Kingdom Hall meetings before I retired. Why? Because having read on this site some of the experiences of children being physically abused for not sitting still, I can promise you that if I had seen such a thing happening two things would have happened immediately. 1. I would have immediately seized the child (as UK law permits) and it would have been taken to a 'place of safety' pending social services intervention. 2. The abuser would have been arrested there and then (handcuffed if necessary) and probably charged with assault. I did this on other occasions in other locations, and nowhere but nowhere is exempt. It is to my shame, and for me to answer for, that I didn't know these things occurred within JWs and so did nothing about them.
I have a daughter slightly older than you. You have mentioned your Dad. If you have a good relationship with him, can I just suggest that you discuss all of this with him? If he loves and cares for you, his main concern will be that you are happy and come to no harm. Invite him to look at this site with you. Ask him for his advice. He may see things that you don't - you may see things he doesn't. But by discussing issues with someone you trust at least you will perhaps have more confidence in whatever decision you make.
.
reading hellriders topic made me wonder about this.. i waited till i was 21 because i was drinking alcohol as a youth and didn't want to get baptized while breaking the law.
man that is screwed up, seemed reasonable at the time.
I have previously posted about my concerns for my JW neighbours, especially the children.
What's the MINIMUM age JWs baptise children (if there is one)? Does this vary in different countries?
there's an article on e-watchman giving the latest spin.
i don't know how to cut and paste, but i hope everyone goes and checks it out.
it is truly nauseating.
Is this connected with the sale of Brooklyn properties I'm sure I read about recently? And the legal restructuring of the JW corporations?
i'm not a jw, never have been, and in no danger of becoming one.. having read several of the wt mags and publications (and many more extracts on this and other sites) they come across to me as being very patronising in tone and full of pseudo-scholarship, misquoted (or unnamed) sources, references taken out of context, mis-translations, etc.
i'm aware of jw 'teaching' on the subject of higher education for its members (i.e.
not a good or necessary thing) so i can understand why many jws raised in it may not challenge the publications.
This is not an attempt to btt.
It would just seem rude not to thank everyone for the information provided. I have learned from it.
So, thanks!
(Besides which, if I'm polite now I won't feel so bad about asking all my other questions!)
i'm not a jw, never have been, and in no danger of becoming one.. having read several of the wt mags and publications (and many more extracts on this and other sites) they come across to me as being very patronising in tone and full of pseudo-scholarship, misquoted (or unnamed) sources, references taken out of context, mis-translations, etc.
i'm aware of jw 'teaching' on the subject of higher education for its members (i.e.
not a good or necessary thing) so i can understand why many jws raised in it may not challenge the publications.
Thanks again to all.
As Dido summarised, the crucial point seems to be vulnerability - vulnerability which leads to the suspension of disbelief or questioning. I suppose this doesn't just apply to religion, it can also affect, for example, major purchases.
As far as the publications are concerned, I believe that a problem that WTS has is wanting complete uniformity. In the real world media target their style and content towards a particular audience. WTS obviously can't do that and still maintain that their content, timing and methods are directed by their god.
I still have other questions (sorry!) and will raise them separately.
Cheers.
i'm not a jw, never have been, and in no danger of becoming one.. having read several of the wt mags and publications (and many more extracts on this and other sites) they come across to me as being very patronising in tone and full of pseudo-scholarship, misquoted (or unnamed) sources, references taken out of context, mis-translations, etc.
i'm aware of jw 'teaching' on the subject of higher education for its members (i.e.
not a good or necessary thing) so i can understand why many jws raised in it may not challenge the publications.
Dido, I was asking about education level rather than intelligence. I'm sure, of course, that there are many many intelligent JWs.
i'm not a jw, never have been, and in no danger of becoming one.. having read several of the wt mags and publications (and many more extracts on this and other sites) they come across to me as being very patronising in tone and full of pseudo-scholarship, misquoted (or unnamed) sources, references taken out of context, mis-translations, etc.
i'm aware of jw 'teaching' on the subject of higher education for its members (i.e.
not a good or necessary thing) so i can understand why many jws raised in it may not challenge the publications.
I suppose one factor that might stop people asking awkward questions in the early stages is that they don't want to be impolite to a pleasant and polite JW. This is certainly a factor in conman/victim relationships in the real world.
i'm not a jw, never have been, and in no danger of becoming one.. having read several of the wt mags and publications (and many more extracts on this and other sites) they come across to me as being very patronising in tone and full of pseudo-scholarship, misquoted (or unnamed) sources, references taken out of context, mis-translations, etc.
i'm aware of jw 'teaching' on the subject of higher education for its members (i.e.
not a good or necessary thing) so i can understand why many jws raised in it may not challenge the publications.
Thanks very much for the information and opinions (and greetings).
I know that even if I were to believe the WT stuff I could never be a JW 'cos I just can't stop questioning things.
I appreciate the point made by several people about vulnerability. I was a police officer for 30 years (mostly as a detective). It is a common pattern with conmen, who have seem to have an instinct that enable them to find the vulnerable and tell them what they want to hear. The word 'bullying' comes to mind, too.
I suppose that my experience with interviewing people has taught me to go for the questions they haven't prepared for, and to persist until proper answers are provided. The pre-prepared questions in the magazines (as has been pointed out) made me wince, and the couple of occasions I went to a meeting and saw the magazine article and questions trundled out parrot-fashion left me cold. And yet the old guy who read out the magazine paragraphs seemed so proud. Is that one of the 'privileges of service' they talk about?
Thanks again. You can read all you like, but nothing beats getting information from people who have been there.
i'm not a jw, never have been, and in no danger of becoming one.. having read several of the wt mags and publications (and many more extracts on this and other sites) they come across to me as being very patronising in tone and full of pseudo-scholarship, misquoted (or unnamed) sources, references taken out of context, mis-translations, etc.
i'm aware of jw 'teaching' on the subject of higher education for its members (i.e.
not a good or necessary thing) so i can understand why many jws raised in it may not challenge the publications.
"I think we oaught to be careful and not say things like JW's are stupid and uneducated." - from Kero-Kero
I am definitely NOT saying this, and apologise if that was how my post came across.
My point was really that higher/professional education tends to teach critical and independent thinking and research, and that while WT publications seem to me to exhibit a superficial scholarship some/ a lot/ most of it doesn't stand up to close scrutiny, let alone independent peer review.
My point about the tone of the publications may partly be accounted for by the differences between US/UK. What is it they say about 'two nations divided by a common language'?.
